One never knows what will be a trigger of grief. They come at unexpected moments. Everyone thinks you should be over it by now. They have been over it for some time.
But your not.
So you grieve in the shadows. You try not to get caught. Takes way to much energy to explain.
So then comes a hurricane.
I have experienced a lot of hurricanes since 1979. I went back and made a list of the other day. It hit me that every hurricane I have gone through in South Florida, Terry was always with me. There was always our "hurricane talk".
Sometimes, especially in the early years we were very afraid. One time we were on vacation in Orlando, listening to R.C. Sproul tapes on "Holiness" when the hurricane threat appeared and Terry was worried about our apartment. So we left and headed south.
Tens of thousands of cars headed north fleeing the hurricane and we had an open highway with not one other car heading south. We smiled at each other. Maybe they know something we don't. It was one of those "nothing" hurricanes but it always made us laugh thinking about it.
It was like a hurricane dance. How should we prepare? Should we prepare? What should we cancel? Then the little hurricane vacations like snow days up north. Quiet days together with little that could be done without power.
Nice days, talking days and relaxing days after the storm.
Those days are gone.
I miss those days.
I miss her.